Surprised by Grief

I slept well last night, waking only once. It has become a habit, getting up in the night to let Fred outside. When the alarm went off, I hit snooze and pulled the covers over my head. When I eventually rolled out of bed, the tears sprang from my eyes as from gravity, the pull of standing upright.

I knew today would be hard but I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be. I fully expected to go to work and bring Ethel with me so she wouldn’t be alone. When it became clear that just standing caused me to weep, I sent word that I wouldn’t be in and went back to bed.

Ethel and I have been sticking close together. I think I need her more than she needs me today. We have the essential oils going in the diffuser. Elevation today. Yesterday, Fred chose Citrus Bliss to send him on his way. Even Dr.Jason commented on the sweet, spicy sent. It created a soothing and calm environment for all of us.

I’ve received so many blessings and kind words of support from friends and family. Thank you to everyone who has been following my story and sending comfort to Ethel and me.

It is another beautiful day. Eventually, Ethel and I will get out for a walk. For now, we’re waiting for time to heal the pain of loss, the deep sorrow of letting go.


11 thoughts on “Surprised by Grief”

  1. Thinking of you daily. The words I’m sorry for your loss doesn’t seem appropriate. As with all things it takes time, and every experience adds strength as you continue. One step at a time and the days will bet brighter.


  2. How sweet of Fred to let you know that it was time. He will always have a place in your heart but your heart won’t always hurt as bad as it does today. Find joy in your memories as you heal 💛


  3. I am so sorry for your loss. You and Ethel are on my thoughts and prayers today and always. Give yourself permission and plenty of time to grieve. Consider yourself virtually hugged.


    1. Chris,
      Don and I hadn’t heard till your email today. We send our love and compassion. I know Fred and Ethel are an integral part of your home and it’s a difficult time to say goodbye. Take healing time and you and Ethel enjoy a good walk in your lovely neighborhood! As I walked through the office area today, I was thinking of you and this must have been the reason. So please feel our big and long HUG! Fondly, Don and Mary


  4. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel for you in the loss of your beloved Fred. He was lucky to have you as his caring person. Bless you. XO


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